I was able to punch out at past 10:00 this morning from my 7pm to 7am shift. I was able to finish my focus charts early but I was caught up between the chaos of cleaning chest incision wounds and giving medication to a disoriented patient. I thought I could make it through my shift early. It just as frustrating as my first month of being an orientee. I was home at 12nn and slept immediately but I woke up at 3:00am soaked in sweat. The power supply server in our air tripped and it needed an rv repair It was restored just now and I am trying to get my doze mode back on.

Good thing about working for a hospital is that, I could at least avail of the free diagnostic procedures. Well, I am really unsure if probationary employees are included in this package but the nurse at the infirmary just stamped the lab work up prescription from my doctor and when I presented it at the pathology department, they did not ask me to pay anything. They do not have the protein-creatinine test though which I had done at the National Kidney and Transplant Institute. Anyhow, it is still best if I had cheap insurance that would cover all my medical expenses. This is the only thing that makes me reconsider keeping my callcenter job.

After more than a month of hibernation, I finally made it to my rheumatologist for my follow up check up. He asked me to be back on December 18th but circumstances prevented me from seeing him then.
Anyhow, I went straight to him after my pm duty. After a rough night, losing my cell phone to a pickpocket, having my bag slashed and having 2 level 2 patients one of which almost coded.
I told my doctor that I have stopped taking all my medications except for the steroids and calcium supplement. I told him that I tried to observe if there would be improvement in my crea-protein ratio, proteinuria and hematuria and cholesterol without popping any pills.
He was not pleased to learn about it. He told me that just because the lab results has showed decrease in abnormal values, it does not mean that non-compliance to medication contributed to it. In fact, he emphasized that I may not be manifesting symptoms of exacerbations because the potency of my medications is still there and once it has drained out, I could expect for the worse.
Seriously, it did not scare me at all. I am too tired of living on medications. I just let him scribble prescriptions and asked me to go back after two weeks with my latest lab work up results.
I went out, with strong faith that God will be my greatest healer. I will leave it all up to him. I will just continue to be on steroids and simvastatin. I will also maintain my sambong tea and buko juice intake.
God, be my healer.

This is weird. I had a dream last night. I was driving a friend’s car, actually I was trying to take the wheel from a friend who was drunk driving our friend’s car. He was overspeeding and I was scared to hell. Finally I was able to convince him to pull over as we almost hit another car on the road. Then there came another car driven by another friend. He gave us roadside assistance and took us to safety. God thing it was just a dream.

We are living in a hand-me-down house. It was owned by my brother-in-law’s aunt who migrated to the US. It is so old that most of the parts are busted and the kitchen sink is no exception. Every time you open the faucet the water comes rushing to the ground as if it were a waterfall. Since the owner will finance for the house renovation, I suggested for them to get copper kitchen sinks I’m looking forward to the house major overhaul.

After the first blow to my nursing career another one comes in. I just got word from my headnurse about the medication error I have committed. I can sense her frustration in her voice and she actually voiced it out. As the tears were about to escape from my eyes, she grabbed my hand and brought me to the locker room. She asked me how I feel. I just sobbed. I feel so frustrated about myself. I am beginning to think, am I really fit for the job? What if the panel has made a mistake in choosing me over a thousand of candidates?
How am I supposed to save lives?
I feel like Kelly on Hawthorne. I lack the confidence but shall I give up? Did I buy myself one-way ticket to hell? Even if I did not, there’s no use to cry over the mistakes in the major decision that I have made about my career change. I have to move on. I promise myself that I will rise to the occasion. I will not be a failure. I owe it to myself more than anyone else. I just need some gut.
God help me.

After a month of being an orientee, I still feel new to the nursing career. I still have not gotten the hang of the job description and as I carry out my duties, I am thinking that nurses are indeed the unsung heroes of the hospital. They are the ones up on their feet 24/7 that translates to being the heartbeat of the hospital and yet they are underpaid. The tasks are physically and intellectually demanding and I am thinking that if the job is the same as the one abroad, I would rather fly out for a greener pasture as the salary is not enough to support he expenses for medications for the illness or injuries that one might develop in performing her duty.
This just crossed my mind as I was at patient’s bedside doing the morning care. I might consider doing the Dallas job search search as suggested by a colleague is who about to test the nursing career in the US.

What I actually enjoy about the rotation of sked in the hospital are the long days off. Aside from sleeping long hours, I am looking forward to doing my DVD marathons. Unfortunate for me though because my home theatre is still busted so I have to contain myself in the portable DVD or in my laptop. I do not enjoy the resolution and sound quality of these gadgets because they are not top of the line or near nordictrack audiostrider 990 pro Well, better than nothing. Who am I to complain?

If there was anything light happened during my shift, it was being assigned to be the bedside nurse to a local celebrity. Which I did not find enjoyable anyway. She’s not critical, just a stomach pain and intermittent fever and yet again she gets the special attention. I was glad to be relieved by another nurse who by the way wants to switch patients with me. I declined. I am not after the glitter. I really do not understandd why the people in the hospital are going gaga over her. Phone kept ringing asking about her, staff are constatly passing by her room hoping to take a quick glance at her. I actually pity her, she seems like a caged animal in a zoo or a piece of art in the museum. I wanted to scream, people, she’s human! She needs a rest, go get a life!
I’d rather take care of level 3 patient who acts to be level 2 that be burdened by the one who acts like leve 2 patient when she’s just level one.

I have had three days off and I was planning on having DVD marathon of some movies that I missed out on theatres. To my dismay, my DVD player will play for minute then shuts off and as I turn it on again is displays power error. I was thinking of bring the thing to its service center but then again I thought it would be better just to let the repair man come by. The Handy Manny in me did not work this time but it tells me that there are just some Mopar parts needing to be replaced.