It was our second day of return demonstration and I came straight from my graveyard shift at work.  I managed to brush through my notes before punching at LCP.

Yesterday’s demo went well. The preceptor was cool and he even laughed at my mistakes. I am really not good at speaking in front of people (maybe I am cursed to speak with people just over the phone).

Today is another day. I took the number one tab just to get it over with  immediately so I could go straight home to rest. I was clueless that there’s a rear hole waiting for me down the demo hall.

Admittedly, I screwed up at some  steps in performing  tracheostomy care but for whatever that is worth, I do not deserve to be yelled at.  We are all professionals.  The reason I or we are there is to gain knowledge. This is not a collegiate school where it is okay to be howlered.

I paid up freaking six grand plus the uniform not to be humiliated in front of  other students and preceptors. I was really close to crying  and telling him that it is his job to teach me what is the right thing  to do. I bet that he did worse when he was a trainee like me.

I want to stab him in the neck so that he could be intubated then I could perform tracheostomy care on him.

I just kept mum about it.  It is not a dog-eat-dog system.  I am scared that I would blow up my chance of getting a slot there. I had and have to be nice.

Lesson learned.  Practice no maleficence and bring  lots of patience.