My rotation in the ward for my BST at the LCP has started last Monday and although sleep has been elusive, I still feel the adrenalin rush through my vein.

It is like I am an energizer bunny.

My feet are still swollen and although this signals me to follow the red light, I have no intentions of taking leave of absence. Although we are allowed to have 6 absences for the entire training period, I feel that it is just proper to maximize my training fee by taking the opportunity to be in the ward and learn new things about bedside care.

Aside from the bedside care, we are expected to perform admission and discharge procedures and to carry out doctor’s orders. If you want to excel in something you must not stop at just learning the 411 but you have to progressively learn the craft.

While I feel so pumped up in my training days, there are instances that sadness sucks the joy in my highly cholesteroled heart.

After every endorsement and rounds, I usually review the patient’s chart to check on the diagnosis, doctor’s progress notes, medications and everything I could wrap my mind around.

Last night, I managed only two patients.  One has so many medications needed to be given at certain intervals. The other has just prn (pro re nata) or as needed medications.  It was for pain.

The doctors made their rounds so I was not able to scan the charts of my patients.

At past 6:00 pm, I was asked by the charge nurse to assist the attending – an oncologist in medicating my patient (who only has prn med).  He was given Etoposide – a chemotherapy drug.

After regulating the drug, I looked for the patient’s chart and found out that he has bronchogenic cancer with non small cancer cells.  The cancer has metastatized in his brain.

He is undergoing 6-cycle chemotherapy.  I was really surprised because he looked healthy, not experiencing alopecia and he kept on playing tricks on me every time I entered his room.

I am imagining, If were in his bed, would I still be the same bubbly person that I used to be? Chemo is a very scary and horrible experience based on people who have undergone it.

I know that as a medical practitioner, emotion should not get in the way of my profession.  I was supposed to handle three patients that day but my third patient who had a DNR order expired. It is sad when you are in the room with the relatives to witness the doctor to pronounce the patient dead.

Every training day is a tiring and edematous day but at the end of the day, I do not feel exhausted.

This is what I wanted to do. Screw the odds, Death is not an option.

All I need now is my Trodat so that my hands will be spared from scribbling my complete name and license number on each page of the patient’s chart.