It was exactly 2:00 pm. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would come out of my chest. I almost choked every pulse this hollow muscle gave. I fidgeted when the lady on the other line spoke but it seemed I was defibrillated hearing from her that he has not made his decision yet and that I should call back on Monday.
Aaarghh! I know he is busy but is it really hard to choose?
I hate the feeling of being uncertain. I am uncertain if he would let me in to or just kick me out of his world.
As I want to put closure to this big chapter of my life, for the innermost desire of my heart, I have to make that call again on Monday. I have stopped taking in propanolol for almost three years already and I think I would need to pop another one before I dial his number again.
I’m gonna lose it. I am praying that he would still say yes to me.
Lord please help me. You are my only hope. You know how long I have waited for this, how I have desired to be with him.