Right after my nephro consult, I went straight to see my rheumatologist.
As usual, he greeted me with welcoming smile stating that he thinks of me (of course in a doctor-client sense).
Before I was let into his room, his fellow interviewed me. Then she presented my case to Dr. Lichauco, the consultant.
He was surprised to see that my protein surged and became concered about my high LDL (Low Density Lipoprotein) or the bad cholesterol and my massive proteinuria.
He began telling me that we need to decrease my steroids to which I replied that my nephro actually increased the dosage along with CellCept’s dosage. He stopped for a while, and told me that the steroids aim to cure the inflammation. I knew he explained to me the mechanism of action of CellCept and what it actually targets but I think I am too bombarded with the information that he has been sharing to me. In the end he told me that the “new” care of plan my nephro has made for me is okay and he told me that doctors in St. Luke’s are usually in coordination in terms of patient’s care especially if there’s a conflict. This one I doubted because I was sensing of a tension between them.
Dr. Lichauco asked if I am taking anything to lower my cholesterol and I told him that I stopped taking Ezetrol because of the myalgia and arthralgia that I am experiencing. The myalgia stopped when I stopped taking it while the arthlagia was alleviated. He asked me if it is okay if he will ask me to take another anticholesterol medication that belongs to the family of Crestor (Rosuvastatin) but with a milder side effect – Simvastatin. He said that he is worried about my high cholesterol level and diet modification is not enough.
He also explained to me by asking the fellow the connection of proteinuia to high cholesterol level. I waste protein in my urine particularly the lipoprotein that has direct relationship to my increased LDL.
Then they proceeded with the head-to-toe assessment. This is what I really appreciate more about this doctor because he and his fellow performed the four modalities of physical assessment (inspection, percussion, palpation and auscultation). My BP was also taken and the fellow got 100/70 mmHg. I did not bring up the BP that my nephro has gotten earlier because my BP is within normal range.
During the assessment, he asked me if I was taking calcium and I said I am taking 500 mg. He told me to double the dosage but take each tablet separately. Another good thing about this doctor is that he gives instruction on how medications should be taken.
Finally, he asked me to come back on the 26th because he will be out of the country and will not be back by then. He did not order for any other lab tests as he saw the ones ordered by my nephro.
Prayers, prayers, prayers.
I know God will utilize someone to make me well.

I was born and raised Iglesia ni Cristo. Yes, for some time, I went astray but when I had the chance to go back and join the flock I tried my hardest not to be lost again. I held onto my fight so tight.
My life has been in limbo ever since and it was never a walk in the park but I do not consider it as failure. I maybe lacking the wealth this world could offer but this does not make me less of a person. My wealth is my faith and I shall not falter.
Even now that I am dealing with serious health condition, I gather my strength from Almighty God.
I have been in my strongest of faith because of the perseverance of Bro. Erano “Erdy” Manalo . On low key, and not jumping into any publicity, he has led the church and kept united in faith.
Ka Erdy has been constantly preaching that God has prepared a place for his chosen ones and that all the hardships and sufferings that His children are experiencing here on earth will vanish and He shall wipe the tears in our eyes come judgement day. That this earth is not our home but merely a road that we travel on on our way to His kingdom.
Now that Ka Erdy is gone, I am in deep sorrow, the whole church is mourning but we know that our battle does not end here. We have to carry on…bear each cross until we reach the end of the journey. Either until our death on earth or the second coming of our Lord Jesus.

It was exactly 2:00 pm. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would come out of my chest. I almost choked every pulse this hollow muscle gave. I fidgeted when the lady on the other line spoke but it seemed I was defibrillated hearing from her that he has not made his decision yet and that I should call back on Monday.
Aaarghh! I know he is busy but is it really hard to choose?
I hate the feeling of being uncertain. I am uncertain if he would let me in to or just kick me out of his world.
As I want to put closure to this big chapter of my life, for the innermost desire of my heart, I have to make that call again on Monday. I have stopped taking in propanolol for almost three years already and I think I would need to pop another one before I dial his number again.
I’m gonna lose it. I am praying that he would still say yes to me.
Lord please help me. You are my only hope. You know how long I have waited for this, how I have desired to be with him.

I had dinner with my old friends who were my former officemates.  One has decided to take her career up a level higher and the other opted to manage his own business.

We have discussed a little bit about my health but I decided not to go into details as I am really paranoid of discussing it to anyone after learning that the rumor about the health condition has already spread in the office.  It is not that I do not trust them but I do not want to suspect anyone close to me gossiping about me.

I just kept on joking about my impending death, how I want my funeral to be held and all the death and dying stuff that creeped them out.

Anyhow, my guy friend’s wife used to be confined for a serious illness and I have learned from him that dying  was never considered by his wife as an option. She was determined to live that she fought for and cling onto her dear life. Seriously, this has brought chills to my spine.  I would not say that it served as wakeup call but I began to think of dealing with my condition in a different way.  Instead of saying that I need to do the things I love before kicking the bucket, I will just have to say that I am living my life to the fullest in preparation for the future because I am here to live as long as He allows me to and I want to do the things that I love for the rest of my life.

For every morning that I wake up, I am whispering my gratefulness for being able to rise to another day.  I am praying that he would help me carry out my duties without pain on my part and without causing pain to anyone.

So help me God.

I just came from my routine check up. I also got my lab results and why am I surprised to see that my urine creatinine protein ratio shot up, yet again. Other lab tests are normal:  serum creatinine, liver function, potassium but heck my choleseterol level is a bit alarming. It’s 300+. I am guilty on this aspect because i pigged out on red meat in my attempt  to increase my protein intake. I slobbed on slab  of baby ribs, pork steak and barbecue.

Now, I am back to white meats. Say hello to tuna and chicken. My sister whom I have told about my cholesterol level has started to serve steamed chicken breast and veggies – just peppered and unsalted.

Oh, and I contain myself in snacking on roasted garlic bits as it is known here in the Philippines for its natural way of lowering blood pressure and cholesterol level.

My doctor said that I am just on our eighth week of my 24-week therapy so it’s not alarming to see that my creatinine-protein ratio gives a see-saw pattern.

Right now my concern is mainly about my heart.  I feel it hurts when I’m lying on my side as if it’s being pressed against my chest wall.  My doctor has ordered for a 2D-echo cardiogram to  rule out pleural effusion (pleural effusion is an accumulation of fluid between the layers of tissue that line the lungs and chest cavity.) but it’s non-urgent because he set up my next appointment on June 1st.

He warned me to be extra careful not to catch any infections and has asked me if  I got the flu shot already

I pray that everything is okay.

I went to the church early this morming. I usually go to this church often becuse this one’s nearer to our house but I am under the ministry of another church locale.

As I was getting a certificate of attendance before I went in to hear the sermon, the deacon approached me in the line.  He mentioned my name in an asking manner and shook my hand.  He told me that he often sees me in their church wearing a mask and he was curious to check from which locale I was.

I know he already knows that I am sick and he did not ask me to elaborate what disease I have. He just said that it is still early and if I wanted I could drop by the ministry’s office so he could offer a prayer for me. I was really moved by this gesture.  I felt that God has touched me. I cried.

This is such a blessed day for me.